He’s figured it out!!!


So there are all these scripts and films lounging Development Hell, unlikely to see the light of day or even get a chance to dip their little toes into the swirling Seas of Cinema. Many of these are films that, you know, maybe shouldn’t be made, some are films that for whatever reason, no one can quite get their heads around.
Every now and then, a visionary steps forward and says “Fuck you all! This is a film that MUST be made.” No matter how ridiculous. These are the films that we at Cigarette Burns thrive on.

Case in point – Mega Piranha, Tiffany’s latest salvo in her long running teeny bopper war with Debbie Gibson. How could Debbie Gibson get to be in Mega Shark v Giant Octopus and not expect retaliation from Mall Queen Tiffany? She couldn’t have thought she was alone, now, could she?

The same folks that brought you the aforementioned epic battle of oversized sea creatures are brightening our lives with this gem. Asylum are known for capitalising on other people’s fortunes by releasing low low budget interpretations of recent blockbusters, and Mega Piranha is no different with Alexander Aja’s Piranha 3D on the horizon, why not pump out their own?
It certainly looks like we have a classic on our hands. I wasn’t very sold on the Mega Shark v Giant Octopus trailer, but this trailer has genius written all over it.

That, my friends is how you make an entertaining trailer.
We could go through that point by point and single out every gem of greatness that is tucked away inside those 90 seconds, there’s loads of them… From the realisation that it wasn’t terrorists to the under exuberant “fire” – brilliant!

Limited London theatrical release from July 16th with a DVD release to follow on August 9th.

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